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Friday, July 12, 2013

Happy Almost Birthday To Me!

       Ok, So tomorrow is my birthday and I will let you in on the little secret I will be turning 32 ugh 32. and as all my friends and family know and hopefully my new blogger friends will know, how much I really hate to admit how old I am to anyone even though we all know how exactly how old I am or gonna be. It is a little game we all play "saying how old are you gonna be 35, 40?). Anyway, I'm not really looking forward to it not at all. I do sort of have plans tomorrow, to go to the horse races as I posted in (about me) in my likes, But honestly over the past couple days I've been in a funk and been really bummed out about my up coming birthday. I think that I have made myself sick with icky tummy. Ugh feel sick. I don't exactly have the money right now and we are a little strapped for cash and its been that way for the past couple birthdays. So I haven't looked forward to birthdays, mothers days, in quite some time. I didn't think that this birthday would be any different then the previous ones I've had.

        I know that birthday's and mother's day's are not about getting presents, I know that. But its my birthday I want to feel special, I want to feel like its a day about me, for once in a very long time. Sounds like I am a horrible person. I'm not a conceded person in any kind of way. Really I'm not.  Its an inner problem I guess is what it is.Something I need to work on myself. My inner self. And this feeling of being bummed and mad at the world for my being broke all the time has made me feel kind of sick. I get like that, I let things get to me so easy. I need to have stronger skin? But its hard. Its hard to not get upset over little things like birthdays and mother's days and everyday in between. There is my little rant for the moment. Bummed and p*ssed at the world that is me tonight. 


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